Back In The Saddle

Wow - I can't believe it's been 10 days since my last post. Sorry!

It's been a crazy ten days, the hardest of which was this past Monday, when our youngest "at home kid", my daughter, flew from the nest on an airplane headed to Army Basic Training in Missouri.

It took me a couple of days to find my head after that.

This morning, I woke up feeling strong, and took a look around, and realized that this Wife wasn't Leading the Marriage all that much. I had to take a break - and as a result, my sub hubby lost his focus. I know that I am just as much to blame, but REALLY? When life is hard for me, I'd like to know that I can rely on him to keep things going when I'm too busy to babysit.

I guess that's where the training is going to come in, right?

Today, I told him ENOUGH. This was after I'd already decided I wanted to get back in the saddle, but I was going to be nice, and help him catch up on his chores so he could start fresh. One of his chores is to make sure that the dishwasher is empty every morning before he leaves for work, so that I can put my dishes in it as I go about my day. I noticed that it was full with the dishes I'd washed the day before (again with the helping), and I put them away. Well, I got about halfway through putting them away before I realized he'd added dirty dishes to my clean ones. Apparently that was the final straw for me. LOL

So, I sent him a message and asked him if he wanted to pick up where we left off with the WLM thing, and he said, quite quickly, "YES".

So I reminded him were we left off. I owed him a reward for making our anniversary one to remember - a reward that he's already picked, we just haven't done (a trip to the adult motel). Also, we'd discussed a reward of release for him, if my daughter's send-off party went off without a hitch. It was a good party, but our A/C was out, and instead of taking the initiative of contacting our neighbor (who repairs A/C systems) for me, he just let it be, and of course, our guests were not happy, as it was about 85 degrees in our house. But, at the same time, we'd put the D/s life in the back seat (or was it the garage??), so I was torn on if he should get his reward by default, or not.

So, instead of stressing out about it, I've decided to let Fate decide. I follow a blog by Lazy Domme (http://lazydomme.blogspot.com/) and one of her posts talked about letting Fate decide on his release - by marbles in a bag, or dice, or other ways were I really don't have to bother with deciding.

So... now that it's just the 2 of us in the house, there's really nothing keeping me from tying him to the bed (or whatever) and using his body for my entertainment, and at some point, "flipping a coin" or whatever, to let Fate decide if he is allowed a release or not. I hope I have time for this play tonight, as I'm so stressed from waiting for my daughter to call me from Basic Training that I really need some stress relieve and a distraction!

I told him that his chances could be increased, if he put a post on his blog (http://theadventuresofsubboy.blogspot.com/) that would convince me that he really does want to continue this WLM arrangement, and if it was good, he'd have more of a chance for orgasming when it's time. PLEASE - go read his blog post - I personally thought it was very moving!

Wife is pleased. :)

Busy weekend

Wow what a busy weekend! I'd assigned all these punishments for SubBoy, completing forgetting what we had planned for the weekend. Friday night we had to go way south after work to pick up our race packets for the 10k race that we ran on Sunday, then we had to drive way West to pick up his son who we had for the next 24 hours, then North to pick up the daughter, then further North to go to dinner (it was the son & daughter's last dinner together before the daughter ships off to military boot camp), then home to watch a rented DVD, then off to bed. The next morning, Saturday, was just as busy. We went out breakfast, then home while SubBoy did his punishment chore of cleaning the closet, and finished the bathroom that got him that punishment in the first place, while I took a nap from not sleeping well the night before. Then my daughter and I raced off to my son's fiance's bridal shower, while SubBoy took his son home, then after I got back from the bridal shower, we all headed out of town to the hotel we'd stay at for the race the next morning. The race was great - my daughter and I ran together on a mother/daughter team and we took 2nd place! What a great "last race" before she leaves the next. I will remember that forever! Then back home just in time for a friend of ours (who's privy to our lifestyle)to come over, but my daughter wouldn't leave the house (not like I was going to make her or anything), so there was no Play Time, just visiting, which was fine with me, as I was BEAT from the weekend.

So - we still have the corner time outstanding, and the leg humping didn't 100% get adhered to, but we had fun fitting it in where we could. I honestly think that once he got past the humiliation of it, he realized it was actually a little fun. <3

I suspect this week there won't be a lot of Play Time, since our focus is likely to be 100% on our daughter, in her last days at home before she's "officially" on her own... *sigh*

I did have some fun this morning reminding my hubby who's in control though, as he was getting ready to walk out the door for work, I unzipped him and pulled my cock out of his pants, and stroked him until he was hard, then put it away and told him to go to work. It's not much, but I think it served it's purpose.

Hope everybody has a great day!

Punishments

Being the person that I am, punishments are quite important to me. I've learned, though, that it can be a problem if not done correctly.

In the WLM, when your sub hubby is a kinky one, how do you REALLY define punishment? When we first started out, I asked my hubby for some ideas. He came up with things like spanking, bondage, etc. Well, shit - these are REWARDS in his book, really...

Punishment should act as a deterrent for undesirable behavior, not as a reward.

I think it is important, though, that the punishment "fits the crime" so to speak. Meaning, the punishment needs to reinforce that the undesirable behavior is unacceptable.

Along that line of thinking, it would seem that my sub hubby has some punishments coming. Yesterday was not his best day.

I asked him to get a birthday card & gift card for my son. He didn't.
I asked him to stop at the ATM to pick up some cash. He didn't.
He also stopped doing that "one special thing" for me each day.
AND, he never returned to the guest bathroom to finish his cleaning project.

So.... here are his punishments:

Since he couldn't take the time to run the errands I asked, he can "take that time" in the corner instead. I based his corner time off of how much time I would expect each errand to take: 5 min for the ATM, 10 min for the bday card, and 15 min to get the gift card. 30 minutes, naked & collared, in the corner. Since he's not used to standing still like that, I'll break it up for him. This time.

For not finishing the bathroom in the given timeframe, he will, after he completes
the bathroom, do a "punishment project" for me over the weekend, and clean out the front closet, and re-organize it for me.

For ignoring me, he will do a few things. For one, he will take me shopping, and pick out an outfit that he thinks is very sexy on me, and buy it for me. He will also pick out a toenail polish that he thinks would be sexy on my feet. Also, since this, added to the lack of libido, has left me feeling undesired, he will show his desire for me, each night and morning from tonight through Sunday night, by rubbing himself on my leg (no hands) to get erect simply from the feel of my thigh on his cock & balls.

I may allow him to hump my leg for a while as well. (I'm also using this to try and help stimulate the whole "I am horny for my Wife" thing!). And, for "extra credit", he's allowed to rub against me or brush against me in public, for sexual arousal. Clothed, of course. LOL!

I tried to make the last one fun, because I think that "training" him to want me should be fun, and not a chore.

Wish me luck.

<3