Well, I tried it, and it seemed to have worked. We'll see if he continues to like this WLM thing after a week or so of this.
This morning, after our morning run and while I was getting ready to leave for the day to go motorcycle riding, I bossed him around and made him help me get ready. I had him pull my bike out of the garage, load my saddlebags, find my ipod, charge my camera, bring me my clothes from the dryer, bring me my boots, whatever I needed.
He told me last night he'd planned on taking his son to the museum today, and I just looked at him. Then he added, "Unless, of course, you have other plans for me." I told him I would leave him a list of things I needed him to do before he does anything else, but sure, after that, I think it would be a great idea.
So, I was compiling a list in my head that I was going to write down and hand to him as I was walking out the door. But, while I was taking my post-run ice bath, he popped his head in, and said, "I was thinking that I would get some things done this morning before I go to the museum." He then lists off everything that was in my mental list, except one item. I was disappointed, because I'd wanted to hand him this "to do list" and walk out the door with a smile on my face. But - I think I handled it pretty well. I said, "That all sounds good to me. I'd like that. But there's one other thing I'd like you to do as well. Pull the weeds that are growing out front making our lawn look like crap, okay?"
I was surprised. I expected a drop in his shoulders, the whole "Great. Something else I have to do, now." thing, and I didn't get it. It was VERY nice.
So, I left on my ride with my daughter, and didn't really bother much with the keeping in touch thing. Normally I would have texted him every stop, every chance I got. I texted him once to tell him we'd made it to the registration point in time to join the ride. Then I texted him once at the end to tell him we'd done it and were having lunch, then I sent him a text when we were headed home. Those are more about safety for me. I've always believed that somebody should know where you are, or at least which direction you're heading in, should you not wind up where you're going. :)
When I got home, he'd done all his "chores" plus some, and went to the museum. He'd also bought a bouquet of my favorite flowers, and washed my running clothes from that morning for me, knowing I'd forget and bitch about it tomorrow morning. He was very pleased with himself, and I was very pleased with him, and I told him so.
He's up in bed right now, probably trying to stay awake until I come to bed, hoping for...I don't know what. That's part of my problem. I don't really know what he wants, and he doesn't seem to know either, but I'm afraid that if I "do it wrong" then all this will go out the door again - and I am really, truly interested in this life that he's offered me. I want to do it right so he doesn't "run away" again.
Any advise or opinions are greatly encouraged (if I could get some followers, that is).
Gina
Sounds like it's been a good start! I feel the same way you do when my husband is upstairs waiting for me to come to bed after a day of teasing. I know he's waiting for something but I don't know what! I know one thing for sure. You cannot ever do the "wrong thing". Whatever you choose to do he will enjoy it to the fullest! So come up with something fun or even do a little bit of teasing and then you take it from there. Sometimes I have no idea what I am going to do but once I get started other ideas come to mind and I just go with the flow! Good Luck and have fun!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Queen Suzy. I do worry about doing "the wrong thing" but I keep telling him, it's up to him to tell me if something isn't right. We have agreed to give this FLR thing a month trial at first, and I expect lots of communication. My aim isn't to make him miserable - it's about us both enjoying the arrangement, right?
ReplyDeleteGreat day for you... All!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you did great!
Got me with him waiting upstairs for... what? comment. A little attention... I guess you need to find a good balance of edging play and letting him cum, something that works for you. If you like him cumming, don't feel guilty letting him cum. YOU like it!
Need more communication here with Wife as well on this stuff, but going pretty well.
Another new follower :)
Hi Weave,
ReplyDeleteI agree that communication is KEY for something like this. I mean, it's key in any relationship, but when you're messing with power exchange, I think it's even more important.
Yes, a little attention - for sure. I just am worried with giving "the right kind" of attention. It's a bit difficult for us sometimes I think. We're both a couple of little perverts - so it's not like ONE thing really stands out as something each of us ALWAYS wants, you know? One day it could be that he wants to be teased & edged, the next day he might want to be treated like a little girl. The next day maybe he's just tired and needs to be left alone. The next day, maybe he needs to be pegged good & hard. I don't want him "topping from the bottom" but at the same time, I don't want to always be doing what he's not wanting that day and making him regret this decision....because I have to say... so far, I'm *very* happy with this WLM thing. VERY. :)
Maybe the one bad thing to do when you go upstairs after your husband has been waiting for his is to "ignore him". Acknowledge him, tell him to rub your back, or anything else you wish, or tell him "you get nothing tonight, I am going to sleep", but say something, acknowledge him. Clearly you are in chage and he is holding out for a treat or maybe some T&D, or even to be shut down cold, but it needs to be said. Just don't ignore him, acknowledge your submissive husband in some way.
ReplyDeleteOh, and you ride a motorcyle too, damn, you have all the bases covered. I am enjoying reading your blog.
LoveWife,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely. The only time I could ever "ignore" him would be if we were like in a really huge fight or something, or he'd done something REALLY wrong and I knew I couldn't talk about it because I was too emotional.
That reminds me of one of my "must haves" that I need to put down on our list. Not like he needs to be told, but still - Wife needs to be held and snuggled. :) Just because I'm Dominate doesn't mean I don't like to be helded and cuddled!
But you have great points about reminding him that I'm in charge from time to time.
Yes, I ride a motorcycle. I love it. Tried to get him into it, but he wrecked, broke his leg, and now is not comfy riding at all. I love it too much to be able to give it up, though. I have a group that I used to ride with that I'm thinking about getting back in touch with. They are all a bunch of assholes, but they ride hard & fast, and I really like the power I feel when I ride with their group. The rest of the groups I ride with are all pretty conservative, and like to go the speed limit, stay in one lane, wear helmets and reflective jackets. BLAH. :)
<3