Friday, July 15, 2011


Being the person that I am, punishments are quite important to me. I've learned, though, that it can be a problem if not done correctly.

In the WLM, when your sub hubby is a kinky one, how do you REALLY define punishment? When we first started out, I asked my hubby for some ideas. He came up with things like spanking, bondage, etc. Well, shit - these are REWARDS in his book, really...

Punishment should act as a deterrent for undesirable behavior, not as a reward.

I think it is important, though, that the punishment "fits the crime" so to speak. Meaning, the punishment needs to reinforce that the undesirable behavior is unacceptable.

Along that line of thinking, it would seem that my sub hubby has some punishments coming. Yesterday was not his best day.

I asked him to get a birthday card & gift card for my son. He didn't.
I asked him to stop at the ATM to pick up some cash. He didn't.
He also stopped doing that "one special thing" for me each day.
AND, he never returned to the guest bathroom to finish his cleaning project.

So.... here are his punishments:

Since he couldn't take the time to run the errands I asked, he can "take that time" in the corner instead. I based his corner time off of how much time I would expect each errand to take: 5 min for the ATM, 10 min for the bday card, and 15 min to get the gift card. 30 minutes, naked & collared, in the corner. Since he's not used to standing still like that, I'll break it up for him. This time.

For not finishing the bathroom in the given timeframe, he will, after he completes
the bathroom, do a "punishment project" for me over the weekend, and clean out the front closet, and re-organize it for me.

For ignoring me, he will do a few things. For one, he will take me shopping, and pick out an outfit that he thinks is very sexy on me, and buy it for me. He will also pick out a toenail polish that he thinks would be sexy on my feet. Also, since this, added to the lack of libido, has left me feeling undesired, he will show his desire for me, each night and morning from tonight through Sunday night, by rubbing himself on my leg (no hands) to get erect simply from the feel of my thigh on his cock & balls.

I may allow him to hump my leg for a while as well. (I'm also using this to try and help stimulate the whole "I am horny for my Wife" thing!). And, for "extra credit", he's allowed to rub against me or brush against me in public, for sexual arousal. Clothed, of course. LOL!

I tried to make the last one fun, because I think that "training" him to want me should be fun, and not a chore.

Wish me luck.



  1. I contemplated punishment and I discussed it a bit with my wife. I asked her to whip me as punishment yet at the same time, the same activity is a reward in a way. I light spanking turns me on a hard whipping is a punishment yet I crave the hard whipping so how can it be a punishment?

    What I really hated was being ignored, forgotton, not considered but that was not a punishment because she did that without thinking.

    I think the hard whipping, while craved was still a punishment because it did hurt and that was a good message but it was also something she did in response to a slip up by me. So it validated me as a person yet reinforced her postition of authority and that I had slipped up.

    Not particularly logical but thats as far as my thinking has gone right now.

  2. This whole question of when is a punishment not a punishment, if the husband enjoys it is an interesting one, a subject that I may blog about separatley.

    As I have already said, what most submissive men crave is to feel a sense of being dominated, controlled by their wives. It can be induced by a simple command, a simple act, like being told to kneel before your wife and clean her shoes while she is wearing them, or being given a list of chores to do while she is out, or inspecting and passing judgment on them when you get home, or simple being teased and aroused told to do something, and then left to do it.

    What "punishments" are is just an extreme form of acknowledgment that you are in charge and have the power to punish and even humiliate your husband. Most wives seem to find punishing their husbands difficult, even seeing denial as too much.

    Whatever you feel comfotable with, just follow through and make sure that your husband knows why and what he needs to do for you.

  3. These all sound good. But if it were me I'd have him hold an egg to wall with his nose while doing corner time.

    And as for the attention to your leg I would not allow that. I would rub him erect using my foot with an occasional smack to the balls. =)

  4. An egg!? Wow, Misstess L! :D

    The closet project will be a killer, LOL!

    Am thinking the leg-hump is awesome! He'll love it... until he realizes it's futile!! :D
    Also, giving him 3-minute time to hump furniture, etc (NOT YOU!) and try to cum should get some good laughs from you! Best,

  5. Thanks for a great "idea" post....(giving me some ideas). I love to read about how others are doing punishments AND rewards, hope you don't mind if I use some or your "tricks of the trade" on my hubby in the near future. I think I may try having him hump me like you suggest the next time I let sissy out of his lock....that'll be a nice tease, and the corner time.....I think Ill do that one tomorrow for him freezing up on me when it came time for him to pick out his panties. Thanks again. -P

  6. submanhub: Interesting angle. I hadn't thought of that before - that while a punishment could be seen as "enjoyable", the message still gets through that something was NOT okay. Hmmmm

    At all Times: Follow-thru is very important, and unfortunately, when I assigned the punishments, I'd forgotten that my follow-thru was going to be VERY difficult, as we were stuck in a hotel room with my daughter for quite some time this weekend. LOL He did do his punishment chores, but the rest of it is still outstanding. It was a crazy-busy weekend!

    Mistress L: I'm still getting there. :) Slowly but surely I'm getting past my "I don't want to seem too mean" worries, but I'm definately not there yet. Baby steps for us! LOL

    Weave: While the furniture humping would be funny, my goal is to get him used to associating that erection with ME and MY body. I definitely don't want him associating it with the couch or a lamp. HAHAHAHA!!!

    Princess: Since we didn't have any time alone, the corner time still is yet to come. Perhaps a few minutes tonight.

    All: Right now the punishments, as well as the rewards, are difficult, as it's my daughter's last few days at home before she leaves for the military, and we're trying to spent every possible moment with her that we can. That sort of limits the play time. But rest assured, when I'm an empty nester, not sure what to do anymore since I'm not "Mom" at home.... I have a feeling I'll find some new, fun ways to pass the time. <3

  7. Wishing you the Best times together while daughter is still there...
    And, HA, yes I certainly see your point about having him bond to YOU, not the ottoman !! :D
    know you're busy-- have fun!!!


  8. why not hit his penis how much ever time he wasted that is 30 times with a broom stick. Thats quiet more painful. Because making hime corner stand while naked actually does not hurt him. So either make him corner stand in front of neighbours or his friends. otherwise switch on the AC and Fan and then make him cornerstand while Naked for at least an hour. If he hesitates...Raising hands high up while cornerstanding in a nude way!!! Hope that helps!! ALL THE BEST!! :)